Friday, May 15, 2009

Casual Games Exist: AND I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!

Beware all Fellow Gamers, for a new evil is on the rise.Casual games. We totally l33t harcore pwn3rz are now susceptible to the evil might of Nintendo and their casual "disease"

Casual games were invented by Nintendo somewhere around the exact same time E3 2008 ended. At first, we didn't notice the disgusting, vile menace, yet somehow, it was always there, waiting to take away our precious hardcore games.

Just the fact that a gaming company decides to market to a demographic different than mine literally fills me with anger. Nintendo have the audacity to be "succesful" and "profitable" Disgusting scum. This was their plan all along. Not to bring games to a wide demographic of people, and making video games have mass market appeal and acceptance (becuase that's just STUPID), NO, it was to drown us in our own insecurity, purely out of spite. Those disgusting swine.


But why would Nintendo do this you ask? I know why, those selfish, unfeeling COMMUNIST BASTARDS had the SHEER AUDACITY, to be tired of being "in a rut" or "on a slow financial downspiral" If only they could just be comfortable in being a once great gaming giant now at 3rd place. I tell you, the evil, and pure malice that hateful place SHITS OUT on a daily basis makes me sick.

Forget the fact that out of the 29 Nintendo published games on the Wii, only 10 of them are considered casual. The fact that ONE GAME that is publishd by Nintendo that is of the dreaded "casual", exists, ruins the entire system for me. And becuase the system was ruined for me I will personally make sure to post it in every single gaming blog out there, so people know how much an epidemic, such as people having fun, really is!! Forget all the great 3rd party software, such as the masterful No More Heroes, those don't matter right now. You know why? Becuase i have anonymity and the internet: hardcore gamers' greatest weapons.


Why can't Nintendo realize that video games aren't about having fun, its about engrossing yourselves in overly violent games, only playing the latest "AAA" HD releases that the wonderful Microsoft markets to us constantly. Because everyone knows that real gamers don't need to look for games that interest them, they know what's good just by looking at the latest advertisements of the latest AAA releases.

Just the image of NORMAL PEOPLE DECIDING TO HAVE FUN MAKES ME BOIL WITH ANGER!! If I saw my mother play a DSi (or should i say DcaSualislame) I will make sure to take them directly to Microsoft and have every generic, bald space marine shoot her down. And there will be lots of blood and gore. All in 1080pHD graphics, you know, JUST HOW GAMES ALWAYS HAVE BEEN (before those disgusting, putrid, fun having casuals came around)

But not to worry, i will make it my sole mission to make sure that video games will forever be vilinized by the media, and to make video games boring again, becuase after all, VIDEO GAMES ARE SERIOUS BUISNESS


tehralphster said...

OMFG I KNOO video gamez are serious bizness cus i heard dat all the od. good gamerz make lyke..75k a year!!!!!!!!11


TheAssailant said...

I've never been sarcasm'd into a coma before... until now.

Stan said...

10 points ido. HAAAA

Piffman2 said...

e3 2008 was still trash

Unknown said...

Jim Sterling would be proud.